My cousin is having a bridal shower in a couple weeks, and I have had a hard time deciding what to get her. I’m too poor for the usual lingerie, and I don’t want to get her something off of her registry, so I decided on something a little more practical…something that I think is the perfect gift for a virgin bride.
One handicap of my religious community is the fact that we don’t talk about sex. Let me rephrase that; we talk about sex, but we generally focus on abstaining from it and the evils of embracing our sexuality before marriage. As a result of this, many new brides that I know have had a lot of different experiences with their first time, and not all of them have been positive.
The things that I have found to be the most helpful in my first year of marriage are what I am going to pass on to my cousin—and to you.
1. A DIAGRAM OF LADY BUSINESS
Newsflash: we are NOT men. Our bits don’t just hang out there for all to see—if you want to see them, you have to put in a little effort. We should know what the parts are called and what they do. This will only help you AND your partner have the best intimate experience for your first time and forever.
Losing your virginity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Movies and TV make it out to be this beautiful, amazing experience, but that’s not always the case. Of course, no two first times are the same and you can’t generalize, but I’d wager that a lot of women have very similar experiences. Whether you’re nervous, dehydrated, or just tired, lubrication can make the whole process a lot easier (and a lot more pleasant).
Side note: more is NOT always better. Find out what works for you.
3. SEX TOWEL
When you use lube, someone’s hands are going to have some residue, and a handy towel by your bed, couch, or back seat can make your first time a lot less messy. It’s also a good idea to have something to put under you because sex can be messy
which leads us to…
4. BABY WIPES (preferably flushable)
What goes up, must come down. Will you be prepared? Baby wipes are a handy item after the deed is done. Physicians generally recommend that women urinate after sex. Baby wipes are a nice alternative to toilet paper because they don’t stick to you and they don’t tear.
Your first time might hurt, and there is no need to suffer. Whether you want to take it preemptively (as I would suggest) or after the fact, it’s always a good idea to have a pain reliever on hand.
6. COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE
Cosmo is full of suggestions. Some seem humanly impossible,
nevertheless, it is fun to try new things and be aware of the possibilities. If you want to take these ideas and implement them, talk about it with your partner and see what they are comfortable with. Make sure you are both aware of each other’s expectations, and only do what you are ready for.
These are six helpful items you could use for your first time, or that you could gift to your friends.
What do you wish you would have had/known before your first time? Comment below to let me know what else you would add to the list.